Gained weight? Gratitude can help you out.

Ms. Slim is not looking her slimmest -- or even slim at all -- these days. This is something I ought to
be able to laugh about or let go of, knowing that I'm doing all I can to change the situation for the better. Instead, I frowned my way through Friday, nearly turning several unfortunate passersby into stone statues along Commercial Drive. Once I finally got a grip, I decided I'd write a special post urging those of you who mope over weight gain to do the opposite, and go for gratitude instead.

It's easier said than done, of course, especially when the number on your scale passes the tipping point. But beating yourself up about an extra pound or two (or more:S) isn't going to help you change your habits or fit into the clothes you're saving for a slim day. It will, however, sap your energy and make it harder for you to change your habits for the better.

So what does work, both to keep you and everyone around you sane, and to get you back on track? Counting your blessings! If you're having a bad day on the health front, remind yourself of your assets, inside and out: the brightness of your eyes; your sense of adventure; your magic hands; your deadly wit; the way you bring people together. Perhaps you're surrounded by a wonderful community or a beautiful family. Maybe you love your work or have a hobby that fires you up. There's a good chance that you live in a democratic society with the rights and freedoms that come with it, not to mention clean drinking water, three square meals a day, and a long list of other bonuses besides... In sum, there are bound to be things about your life that make it glow; the hard part is remembering them when you feel like you've smacked head-first into a problem and have the bruises to prove it.

When this happens, dear reader, do yourself and the world a favour: pick yourself up, give yourself a shake, and follow it up with a gratitude injection. Wondering where to start? Watch this geeky clip on gratitude and happiness. Or find yourself a copy of M.J. Ryan's Attitudes of Gratitude, which is perfect for morning, bedtime or bathroom reading, and guaranteed to get you in the gratitude groove.

See you on the sunny side of the street.:)

Has your period stopped? You may be eating too much soy.

Ladies, if soy is a staple of your diet and you've stopped getting your period, your favourite vegetable protein may be part of the problem.

Say what?! Really. Read on.

If you've browsed Goodbye, anorexia!, you'll know that I had amenorrhea, the technical term for not menstruating, for several years. There were some undeniable positives to the situation: no tampons, pads or blood stains, no irrational chocolate cravings, and above all, no PMS!

The pros paled, however, in comparison with the cons. Here are the worst of the bunch:

• you can lose bone density, increasing your risk of developing osteoporosis;
• your sex drive may drop; and
• getting pregnant is out of the question (so far as I know.:)).

Except during the years when I wasn't eating enough, none of my doctors, kind and dedicated as they were, had any idea why my period was MIA. They eliminated the usual suspects, from pregnancy to stress to a highly active lifestyle, and even prescribed me a hormone. Still nothing.

Then, eureka! On Christmas Day 2013 -- while at church, of all places:) -- I got my period for the first time in ages. By the New Year, it had gone underground again. There was a silver lining, though. When my period came back for good this January, I finally realized why it had been gone for so long.

Tofu -- cheap, easy to prepare and vegetarian-friendly -- had been my go-to protein source for years. What I hadn't realized is that the isoflavines found in soy protein can mimic the hormone estrogen. They can bind to estrogen receptors, taking the place of the real McCoy. Since soy doesn't have the same properties as estrogen, it presumably can't do everything this hormone can. One of the things it might not be able to do -- this is my theory -- is trigger menstruation.

When I finally connected the dots this spring, I could see that the times when I menstruated coincided with the times when I was eating only small amounts of soy. Before my Christmas miracle, I'd been sharing meals with my parents for at least a week. Their diet is rich in animal protein, and tofu makes only rare appearances on the menu.

What about this January? In the New Year, I was happily chowing down on an abundance of meat, fish and eggs. Tofu wasn't out of the picture, but it certainly wasn't shouldering the burden for providing me with protein, as it had in the past.

March was the clincher. I went back to tofu in a big way. Just like that, period off. And when I started eating meat, fish and eggs in April and dialed back on the tofu... period on!

I wish I could say this was a scientific account backed up by reams of carefully conducted research. It isn't. That said, if you have amenorrhea and you eat soy -- and you're not pregnant, unusually stressed, underweight or exercising like an elite athlete -- try an experiment. Kibosh the soy, or at the very least, stop eating so much of it. Go Paleo, if it helps. With any luck, you'll get the curse again.:)

Oscarina the Grouch

This has not been a banner week for me. Yesterday night found me sitting on my kitchen floor between the fridge and the garbage can, munching on the goodies I'd bought at a bake sale earlier in the day -- and consigned to the garbage can minutes earlier to avoid a situation like this one. After all, what income-generating North American woman in her right mind fishes food out of her own garbage?! Me, apparently. Then again, I wasn't in my right mind. I was Oscarina the Grouch.

Here are some of the random events that led up to my grumpy cross-legged chomp-down:
- my parents' car was broken into while they were away on holidays, in part because I didn't put on their Club lock;
- for good measure, I then added a light scratch to the bumper of my dad's second car, his beloved red Honda;
- at work, I've been expending a lot of energy monitoring how I communicate with my immediate manager, who's easily irritated by the straight talk that comes naturally to me;
- my wardrobe and I do not appreciate one another, and I refuse to buy new clothes until I reach my target size and shape;
- I need to screw up the courage to tell an acquaintance how her inconsiderate behaviour is affecting me rather than quietly avoiding her, but keep putting off the moment of truth;
- when my parents invited me over for dinner -- after I'd told them about the fates of their cars, to which they'd responded in the nicest possible way -- I lit into my jetlagged mom on a topic I can't even remember.

Looked at like that, I haven't had as tough a time as I've been making out. In fact, I've been making other people's lives tough. I've got some growing up to do, including saving enough to buy a car of my own.

Fortunately, this is a good time to start. I have five days of holidays, beginning this morning. And Easter weekend is going to be a time of rest, relaxation, and connection with near ones and dear ones.

I wish the same for you.

Not achieving your goal? Take the pressure down a notch.

I used to tie myself up into a very tight knot when I wasn't making headway toward a goal.
These days, I still waste energy this way, but I have a trick to help me out.

You know the proverb, a watched kettle never boils? Stop watching the kettle. That's it, in a nutshell. Take away the pressure. Focus on a part of your life where you *can* make progress. Let go!

I'll illustrate. My friend is an experienced runner. He's fit, slim and exceptionally strong. Several years ago, he decided he would run his first marathon. He was in great shape for it, and it seemed a no-brainer -- except for one thing: every time he upped his mileage to the prescribed pre-marathon distances, he got shin splints. And every time he got shin splints, they were so painful, they sabotaged his plans to run a marathon. 

One day, my friend decided his approach wasn't working. Instead of running himself into the ground or giving up on his goal, he put the marathon on hold, took his workouts down several notches, and found new and absorbing things to focus on.

He learned to play the guitar and volunteered to help a Somali refugee get established in Canada. At the same time, slowly and gently, and without the pressure of a deadline, he built up his strength and stamina.

One year, one musical skill and a minimum of one friend richer, my friend ran his first marathon. Guess what? No shin splints.

What about you? Do you have a goal you want to meet and can't seem to? Could you drop the deadline for now and focus on another area of your life where you *are* making progress?

Recipe alert: Make your own pesto

Fedandfit's divine cheese-free pesto recipe is perfect for spring. In fact, it's perfect for any season, as long as you know where to find cheap, fresh basil. Should you have the good fortune to live in Vancouver, you can buy the entire (short) ingredient list at the West End's Aria Market.

Your friendly test-kitchen chef made a velvety green batch this morning, replacing the pine nuts with walnuts, which were easier to come by and easier on the wallet. You could do this, too. Other substitutes that would work nicely in the place of pine nuts (I think:)) include cashews, hazelnuts, pumpkin and sunflower seeds.

Lastly, you don't need a food processor, even though Fedandfit's recipe calls for one. A regular or immersion blender works just as well.

Happy spring!
 

Getting inspiration close to (and far from) home

I'm surrounded by friends and family members who inspire me. They are down-to-earth, kindhearted people, and their successes bring a smile to my lips. Here's a random sampling of the challenges they're tackling:

• living in South Korea for six months, and attending university *in Korean*;
• completing a master's degree while working full time, with plans to help women in the developing world;
• raising children and keeping a family running smoothly, and showing love and good judgment in good times and in bad;
• simultaneously studying to become a nurse, working in a care home and teaching ballet (not to mention filling people's days with sunshine);
• looking after a sibling who experienced a particularly nasty divorce, and helping him get back on his feet;
• caring for a mother who has dementia whilst running a business in which it's tough to make ends meet, and doing so with humour and grace;
• teaching marvellous and affordable community yoga and pilates classes -- in her seventies(!);
• succeeding in the high stakes game of options trading, having carefully experimented and taught himself about the field for years.

Still on the subject of inspiration, this time both human and divine,  try borrowing a copy of Come Be My Light, about Mother Teresa.

Although the narrator admittedly comes across as a bit of a drip at times, the excerpts from Mother's Teresa's letters are something else. Did you know, for instance, that this wonderful woman had something very like a severe case of depression for 50 years, yet still founded a religious order which now ministers to the poorest and sickest people around the world? That's inspiration for you!

Turning envy into energy

Ever had a friend tell you about something great she's doing and felt a twinge of envy deep within? It happens to the best of us.

Fortunately, in spite of its nefarious qualities, envy has an upside. It's absolutely brilliant at uncovering the things we want. Consequently, envy can give us the swift kick in the seat of the pants that sets us on the path to positive action, provided we take the time to reframe our thoughts.

The next time envy strikes, try this:

• Ask yourself if your reaction is telling you something about your own goals and desires. Is starting an herb garden, getting certified as a yoga instructor, making a trip to Antarctica suddenly becoming a higher priority? What is it that you really, really want?
• Use the sense of urgency you're feeling to figure out how you'll achieve your goal.
• Get started on step one of your action plan.

Knowing what you want and working to achieve it is the best way I can think of to thwart envy and channel its energy in a positive direction. Why eat your heart out when you can celebrate some else's good fortune wholeheartedly?