Stop being a doormat

Ms. Slim is having some epic growing pains on the career front. Okay, "epic" is an exaggeration, but I can sure feel them. Learning to stand up for myself isn't easy.

Until recently, I had avoided out-and-out conflict at work, preferring to surrender rather than cross swords. This habit hasn't always stood me in good stead, as you might imagine.

In my no-longer-quite-so-new role, playing the nice card doesn't work as well as it did when I was assisting a high-powered manager. Luckily for me, our on-the-ball HR department recently organized a series of webinars on... how to navigate difficult conversations. Jackpot! I couldn't make all of the sessions, but the ones I heard were packed with useful information.

I love this quote. I wish Queen Elizabeth had
said it. (The web's been attributing it to the monarch of Merry England. LOL.)

Did you know there are techniques you can use to state your case clearly so that you don't feel tempted to back down?! Mind-blowing! That there are ways to describe a problem without immediately raising the other person's hackles? That it's possible to respond to excuses, threats, defensiveness or statements you disagree with in such a way as to get your message heard?

Obviously, two webinars do not an ex-doormat make, which also means that it will be a while before I can give you any tips of my own. In the meantime, grow your straight-up vocabulary with a little help from Barry Moltz's powerhouse phrases. While you're at it, read Do you know when to shut up? to find out why less (in the way of words) can be more.

Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor.:)