Not achieving your goal? Take the pressure down a notch.

I used to tie myself up into a very tight knot when I wasn't making headway toward a goal.
These days, I still waste energy this way, but I have a trick to help me out.

You know the proverb, a watched kettle never boils? Stop watching the kettle. That's it, in a nutshell. Take away the pressure. Focus on a part of your life where you *can* make progress. Let go!

I'll illustrate. My friend is an experienced runner. He's fit, slim and exceptionally strong. Several years ago, he decided he would run his first marathon. He was in great shape for it, and it seemed a no-brainer -- except for one thing: every time he upped his mileage to the prescribed pre-marathon distances, he got shin splints. And every time he got shin splints, they were so painful, they sabotaged his plans to run a marathon. 

One day, my friend decided his approach wasn't working. Instead of running himself into the ground or giving up on his goal, he put the marathon on hold, took his workouts down several notches, and found new and absorbing things to focus on.

He learned to play the guitar and volunteered to help a Somali refugee get established in Canada. At the same time, slowly and gently, and without the pressure of a deadline, he built up his strength and stamina.

One year, one musical skill and a minimum of one friend richer, my friend ran his first marathon. Guess what? No shin splints.

What about you? Do you have a goal you want to meet and can't seem to? Could you drop the deadline for now and focus on another area of your life where you *are* making progress?

Recipe alert: Make your own pesto

Fedandfit's divine cheese-free pesto recipe is perfect for spring. In fact, it's perfect for any season, as long as you know where to find cheap, fresh basil. Should you have the good fortune to live in Vancouver, you can buy the entire (short) ingredient list at the West End's Aria Market.

Your friendly test-kitchen chef made a velvety green batch this morning, replacing the pine nuts with walnuts, which were easier to come by and easier on the wallet. You could do this, too. Other substitutes that would work nicely in the place of pine nuts (I think:)) include cashews, hazelnuts, pumpkin and sunflower seeds.

Lastly, you don't need a food processor, even though Fedandfit's recipe calls for one. A regular or immersion blender works just as well.

Happy spring!
 

Getting inspiration close to (and far from) home

I'm surrounded by friends and family members who inspire me. They are down-to-earth, kindhearted people, and their successes bring a smile to my lips. Here's a random sampling of the challenges they're tackling:

• living in South Korea for six months, and attending university *in Korean*;
• completing a master's degree while working full time, with plans to help women in the developing world;
• raising children and keeping a family running smoothly, and showing love and good judgment in good times and in bad;
• simultaneously studying to become a nurse, working in a care home and teaching ballet (not to mention filling people's days with sunshine);
• looking after a sibling who experienced a particularly nasty divorce, and helping him get back on his feet;
• caring for a mother who has dementia whilst running a business in which it's tough to make ends meet, and doing so with humour and grace;
• teaching marvellous and affordable community yoga and pilates classes -- in her seventies(!);
• succeeding in the high stakes game of options trading, having carefully experimented and taught himself about the field for years.

Still on the subject of inspiration, this time both human and divine,  try borrowing a copy of Come Be My Light, about Mother Teresa.

Although the narrator admittedly comes across as a bit of a drip at times, the excerpts from Mother's Teresa's letters are something else. Did you know, for instance, that this wonderful woman had something very like a severe case of depression for 50 years, yet still founded a religious order which now ministers to the poorest and sickest people around the world? That's inspiration for you!

Turning envy into energy

Ever had a friend tell you about something great she's doing and felt a twinge of envy deep within? It happens to the best of us.

Fortunately, in spite of its nefarious qualities, envy has an upside. It's absolutely brilliant at uncovering the things we want. Consequently, envy can give us the swift kick in the seat of the pants that sets us on the path to positive action, provided we take the time to reframe our thoughts.

The next time envy strikes, try this:

• Ask yourself if your reaction is telling you something about your own goals and desires. Is starting an herb garden, getting certified as a yoga instructor, making a trip to Antarctica suddenly becoming a higher priority? What is it that you really, really want?
• Use the sense of urgency you're feeling to figure out how you'll achieve your goal.
• Get started on step one of your action plan.

Knowing what you want and working to achieve it is the best way I can think of to thwart envy and channel its energy in a positive direction. Why eat your heart out when you can celebrate some else's good fortune wholeheartedly?