Virtues matter

Do you ever catch yourself thinking petty thoughts or realize you're getting hot under the collar over a minor inconvenience? Blame someone because you don't want to accept your part in a misunderstanding? Or walk away from a situation in which another person could use your help?

I've been guilty of all of the above. I suspect you have been, too. It's natural, in the sense that we are all creatures of dark and light. But that doesn't mean that bad behaviour is right or inevitable.

Over the past few years, I've noticed darkness seeping into my character little by little. I've seen compassion dim, and courage take a back seat in my life (not that I was especially courageous to begin with.:)) Fortunately for me, some of my jerkazoid reactions have finally caught up with me -- at work, where the consequences of my actions will be painful and materialize faster than in other parts of my life.

This particular prise de conscience has been five months in the making. When September began, I stepped into a promotion. I was thrilled to be exchanging my old title and responsibilities for more glamorous ones. I knew my manager-to-be wasn't as alert or quick-thinking as the one I was leaving. But I wanted the promotion, and I decided I would find a way to work smoothly with her. The best-laid plans...

At first, we got along. Just. The moment I stepped into my new role, I set about reorganizing electronic filing systems, updating letters and forms, reinventing and documenting data-entry processes, and generally feeling smug about how smart I was. Manager #2 let me forge ahead, albeit with some reluctance, and I got into the habit of disrespecting her when I thought she had said or done something stupid. (I am admitting to this not because I'm proud of it, but because honesty is the best policy in a case like mine, and the only way to cure meanness.)

Five months later, I'm reaping the crop I've sown: especially scratchy brambles. It's not a happy result, but I hope it will teach me the importance of virtues like respect, compassion, courage, humility and patience.

This short chapter of my life has gotten me thinking about the meaning of character and integrity. If you, like me, are interested in  learning more more about them, I would recommend a series of essays on character and leadership that I found in the Washington Post. It's a light and interesting way to get started.